Breakfast Time Link Dump!

In an effort to make these links a little more enjoyable, I'm going to be adding a little more commentary to each blurb than I have in the past. Nice suggestion, Greg!

• In Judgement Day news, a couple of nerds from U Penn developed a robot capable of throwing out the first pitch at the Phillies game last night. Part of me wants to make a joke about Skynet, but the more I think about it the less impressed I am. Really? A Penn education and a baseball throwing robot is the best you got? I'm pretty sure this very same robot came as an erector set when my dad was a kid and he never got to display it at a Phillies game. Ridiculous. 

• In response to my commentary on pistachio girl, the legendary Photographer N. shared with me a link to a friend of his' blog that takes us on a trip in the way back machine to the Phillies vendor days of 1977. Sodas for $.80 and 2 hot dogs on 1 bun! Clearly I was born in the wrong generation!

• You've probably seen this Keenan Cahill on YouTube before, but now he's rocking out with Brian Wilson and Cody Ross of the San Francisco Giants. I want to hate Brian Wilson because of that ridiculous beard, but damn do I wish that beard was pitching for my team. Videos like this make him hard to hate, check it out:

 

• To the surprise of no one, The Philly Phanatic, who recently celebrated a birthday, was named by Forbes magazine as the top mascot in sports. But you already knew that since you all read my guest post on ThatBallsOuttaHere last month! 

• Listeners of the ESPN Fantasy Focus podcast are aware of a certain theory they call "The Wandy Line." Basically, it's an arbitrary line in the rankings after which a starting pitcher isn't really worth keeping on your roster all season. Tristan Cockcroft ranked his top 100 pitchers today and I'd honestly have to say that anyone after Matt Garza isn't worth holding onto. "The Garza Line" just doesn't have that same ring to it. 

• Speaking of ESPN, the E60 piece they did on Carl Crawford this week was pretty interesting. The guy grew up in the slum of all slums, was discovered by Michael Bourn's dad and went on to become a regional MVP in Football, Basketball, and Baseball. He was good enough at football to get a scholarship to the University of Nebraska and he was drafted in the 2nd round by the Devil Rays. He was such a speedster in High School that he set records for stolen bases and didn't get caught once in his four years of school. He seems incredibly humble for such an amazing success story. 

• Cincinnati Reds pitcher Mike Leake was arrested the other day for stealing shirts from a Macy's Department store. In another article I read, it says he stole 6 shirts valued at $59.88. I make a decent living but it's still not in the same ballpark as Mike Leake. That said, even the cheapest T-shirt that I own cost about $10. I didn't even know Macys sold shirts for less than $10 each. I'm not even sure you can get a package of 6 Michael Jordan approved Hanes Undershirts for under $60! What the hell are you wearing, Leake? 

• Want an autograph of the 2010 Yankees including Joe Girardi, Derek Jeter, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, Mariano Rivera, Phil Hughes, Curtis Granderson, Brett Gardner, Dave Robertson, Jorge Posada, Chad Gaudin, and Robinson Cano? Looking for s stylish new pair of high heels to wear on a night out on the town with the man of your dreams? Well then, do I have the link for you! Seriously... it's an ebay auction and it's a for a good cause! 

• I mentioned it in something similar a few weeks back, but I just read today that the Los Angeles United Film Festival will be showing the Ballhawks movie about the guys who stand in the street outside Wrigley Field narrated by Bill Murray. These guys are pretty crazy, and as much as I bashed the idea last week, I'm officially adding "Ballhawk at Wrigley" to my baseball bucket list. It's right up there with "Kayak in McCovey Cove," "Visit the Field of Dreams," and "Attend a Phillies Induction to the Hall of Fame." 

• Easter is this Sunday... feel free to buy me this in lieu of dyed eggs or chocolate bunnies.

I'd Avoid the Shelled Nuts at CBP...

Who doesn't love peanuts at a ballgame? There's nothing better than cracking shells and watching them blow into your neighbors face while watching baseball (unless I'm your neighbor. Then you're a jerk)! If you're at Citizens Bank Park, chances are you're purchasing said peanuts from a lovely older lady whose "PEAAAANUTTTTS!" chant sounds suspiciously like she's saying "PENIS." For those of you who share the same 12 year old's sense of humor that I have, she's always worth a giggle. But as strange as it sounds, peanut lady pales in comparison to the new nut salesman on the block: Pistachio Girl!

Courtesy of WhoDoesHePlayFor?

CNBC recently reported that Pistachios are quickly becoming the nut of choice for baseball fans. $35Million dollars has been spent on Pistachio related advertising campaigns since 2009. Eleven ballparks have taken to selling this alternative shelled nut, but I can't imagine that any of them have as "colorful" of a saleswoman as Citizens Bank Park. To say that the Pistachio girl is completely "bat-shit crazy" would be an insult to the feces of flying mammals. Creepy and disturbing would be much more appropriate adjectives. Twitter has been abuzz with stories of her off duty antics for the past few weeks and I've tracked down dozens of links, but by no means is my information written in stone. Apparently she is a local college student who is an artist of sorts. I'm not talking "artist" like comics books and podcasts. I'm talking "artist" as murals made of sheep's blood and death metal.

Now, don't get me wrong... there is clearly a faction of people that enjoy this sort of lifestyle. I even commend CBP and the Phillies for being an equal opportunity employer in that regard. Quite frankly, walking up and down stairs for 3 hours 81 games a year plus playoffs isn't a job for the weak. But do you want to buy your nuts from this interviewee? I can't pretend at all to understand the appeal in any of this, but to each their own I guess. I'm told that in order to properly understand the experience, huffing gold spray paint out of a paper bag is required. I don't plan on doing that so for now I'm going to have to assume that those $6.00 Wonderful Pistachios are probably laced with arsenic for her amusement and avoid them like the plague. I'll be sticking to sunflower seeds...

In "not at all crazy ballpark vendor" news, Bill "The Beerman" will be serving up ice cold Bud and Bud Lite products to those in anyone of age in the right field section of CBP via Twitter. Considering fans spend most of the game on their blackberries/iPhones anyway, why not! Check him out @philsbeerman and if you're in 101-107/201-211/301-310 send him your section, row, and seat and you'll never have to get up!

On General Fan Misbehavior...

No one is above the boo. There's always a time and a place for it. Game #4 of the season isn't one of them. Cole Hamels had a very solid 2010 season, but even last year he had a few hiccups early on. Better that he get the 6ER in 2.2 innings performance out of the way now than wait until August. Cole Hamels knew he But of course, that didn't stop a good portion of 46,000+ from booing him last night. 

The problem lies with a group of fans that I've dubbed "Children of the 700 Level." These are the kids who are in their late teens and early 20s who grew up listening to tales of brash behavior and urinating in sinks at Veterans Stadium from their dads and uncles. They're guys who hadn't been to the park before 2008. They're the voices you can hear asking stupid questions while barely paying attention to the game. They're the guys who refer to opposing players by number when heckling because they have no idea what their actual name is. They're the bratty kids who throw up children and run onto the field. Quite frankly, I'm sick of them giving me a bad name. In a week where a Giants fan was nearly beaten to death at Dodger stadium, there's a reason why Philly fans still hold the public persona of "worst fans." We do it to ourselves. There's a large population among us who perpetuate the stereotype on a nightly basis. The guys who scream obscenities from Ashburn Alley knowing full well that there are children right below them. The guys who nearly spend the GDP of Denmark on $7.50 Bud Lites each night stumbling down stairs and over their own words. Now all of us have thrown a few back and made some bad decisions while at sporting events, but the problem lies with those who do this on a nightly basis. These "fans" believe that they are carrying on a tradition of propper sports behavior. They think that the "Asssssssholllllllle" chant is a right of passage and that it's their duty to perform it. So the next time you scoff when someone says "You threw snowballs at Santa Claus and batteries at JD Drew," look to your left and to your right. Chances are someone around you is proud of that reputation and he's the one that drags down a whole fan base.

It's early in the year and you can bet that we're going to see our fair share of clunkers out of this team in 2011. It happens with every team. Some of the time, a boo is going to be deserved. But I urge the fans to hold back from anything further. I can guarantee that Cole Hamels was giving himself more than enough boos last night. Let's stay off the field for the rest of the year. Let's hold our liquor. Let's know when to censor ourselves around a mixed audience. There's a difference between honest passion and informed baseball banter. It's a new year and if we're ever going to change our reputation, let's start now! Turn your hat straight, pull up your pants, and enjoy some good old fashioned baseball.

Phils Spicing Up the On-Deck Series

First, that's a pretty sweet SI cover. Hard to believe that up until about 3 years ago, the Phillies had only graced the cover of SI about a half dozen times. I'm struggling to find the info to back that up so you'll just have to take my word on it... 2nd year in a row for Doc.

Anyway, I'm surprisingly excited about tonight's game. A co-worker handed me some pretty nice seats for free. If you don't have a set of your own, a cool 89 cents should get you in the gate. What makes this on-deck series so special?

"The Phillies On-Deck Series features a spring-training like atmosphere filled with plenty of prizes and surprises! Both games include a mini-fan appreciation day, unique player and alumni interactions with fans, merchandise specials, entertainment, and more!"

I don't really know what that means, though it's been suggested that certain active and former players may be meandering around the concourse doing a little meet and greet with the fans. I wouldn't mind rubbing elbows with a few Phils while standing in line for crab fries.

Other things to look forward to:

• Roy Oswalt throws today. I'd expect to see him stretched out for about 5 innings.
• Luis Castillo will almost certainly see significant playing time.
• New video board and 800+ new TVs.
• New food stands.
• Complete remodel to the Majestic Store.

44 Degrees an Sunny for the first pitch. Not exactly the shorts and t-shirt weather we had for Opening Day in DC last year, but I've had a blast at games with far worse weather (see: Game 3, 2008 World Series). I realize I'm psyching myself up for a meaningless game, but unless one of you wants to send your favorite blogger to Friday's game on your dime, I'm going to have to settle for meaningless baseball this week!